sunday afternoon

I think this is one of the first spare moments that I have had since posting last saturday. I have been trying to cut down on busyness too! But it has been a great week with a lot of good times with friends and family, and I wouldn't trade any of it. So now I am sitting with my laptop on my bed, my legs crossed in front of me, often staring out the window over my computer screen. And I feel grumpy. Now that I have nowhere to be or people to talk to for the first time in a week, I am grumpy. Maybe I am not as much of an introvert as I think I am. There is something about sunday afternoons that makes me very tired though too. Maybe it is church. There is nothing else that I do on Sunday mornings. Perhaps God made sunday a day of rest because church makes us so tired. Or perhaps it is that we come to a time of quietness, and it surprises us, and it takes some effort to stop the inertia of the business of our lives, the stimulation of constant movement, and remember what to do with ourselves. And in that grinding halt, we end up grumpy.
It is hard to not work though too, or to not feel guilty if I don't. There are plently of other things I could be doing. Like washing the dishes or cleaning up my room. But I am not. I am laying on my bed and just thinking.
The sermon and the theme of church today was grace. All of the songs were about grace. Grace Flows Down, Marvellous Grace, Grace Alone. God is reminding me of his grace again. For the last couple of months, in a great effort to honor and become more like Jesus, I forgot it. I saw so much of his holiness and goodness, and wanted to be right with him, and be sure that I was following him first. I examined many different parts of my life to try to comb out all that might be distracting me from being who God would want me to be. But slowly and gently, he has brought it all back, and given me such good gifts in them. Grace is certainly his answer and reward now, just as it has always been. There is no other. And it has been with me in church, in my friends and family who keep caring about me more than I understand why, and in a grumpy sunday afternoon alone with my computer. He has given me, in his grace, time to rest in Him alone.