Tonight Kelly and I made a big spaghetti dinner and ate the most powerful garlic bread that I have ever had! Wow. She has gone off to rent Under the Tuscan Sun for us to watch, so it will be an official Italian night. We even have the last of a bottle of red wine left to share.
I have been feeling less sociable lately than I had been. Even more of an introvert, which is a little bit scary. Maybe it is from staring at a computer screen for most of the day and then coming home and doing this! I think it is also because I am still getting used to a lot of changes in my life in the last year. I moved out from home last July and then lost my job in Hershey in December. I started this new job at CAP in February and I am only finally feeling like I am competent at it. It is a great job, with great people, but I think even that was pretty intimidating. I felt like I had so much to prove. So I am getting there slowly, but it has taken a lot of energy. And then there have been a lot of changes in friendships and relationships, so all in all, I think I need to take a lot of time to myself to let things sit and sink in, and make sure this is really how I want my life to be. Rob is one of my co-workers and he told me that he and his wife often stop and ask each other, "are you really living today?". I think that is an amazing thing that a couple could do for each other, but for now I am just asking myself. And the answer is not always yes, but if I am running aroud so much that I don't even have time to ask the question, then I know I am not living as I want to be. So if I seem a little more distant or noncommital these days it is probably true. That is partly, again, why I hope that people stop by here, so that we can stay in touch and you can know what is going on that I probably haven't said. Writing is a lot easier for me than verbal communication, for whatever reason. Also, I changed the status of comment posting, so you don't need to be a member, anyone can freely leave their comments and can be as anonomous as they want as well.
3 comments:
Hi Joanna,
I am curious... when Rob asks "are you really living today?" what exactly is his meaning? What constitutes "really livng" for Joanna? I'm emjoying thinking about what it means for myself.
In a book I just read one of the characters talks about "loving the questions" of her life. She said sometimes the questions are more important than the answers, because the questions lead us forward.
What do you think?
Great thought Ann. Isn't it really about just being somewhere?
Thanks, those are good encouragements from both of you. I think "really living" for me is just sometimes being aware of myself as I am, and God being close by and the beautiful things that he has given us. I will ponder loving the questions, I guess it is like being on a journey and enjoying what you find along the way. Not any new profound thought or illustration, but it works.
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