When I went to Greece in my sophomore year of college, I bought a delicate byzantine cross pendant that I loved and I think I wore it almost everyday. It had five circles for the five wounds of Christ, each set over tightly coiled spirals of silver. I would post a picture here, but I have never again seen anything like it. One day, during my senior year, I walked into a morning class and discovered that it was no longer around my neck. Lecture was about to start, and I did the one of the stupidest, most responsible things I have ever done. I sat through the lecture, and only after the class did I go out and scour the sidewalks of Lancaster. Of course it was gone, and I never saw the necklace again. I don't remember what class I stayed for, which professor presented the lecture, much less anything that I learned that day. And I got great grades that year, but it wasn't worth it.
I have lost many things since then. I lost this year's calendar in February. I lost one of my car insurance bills and discovered the next month that I never paid it. I have lost ticket stubs, coupons, my car key, and ideals. I lost my job last year, and lost (almost) my fear of picking up the phone in this one. I have lost some friends, and have gained others.
It is ok to lose some things. Sometimes you find them again, or you never even miss them. It can also be good to clean house and drop some baggage.
But there are some things that we should take great care not to lose. Why on earth did I think that it was better of me to sit in a class than leave one of my most treasured possesions lying on a dirty concrete sidewalk? Did I think I would somehow be rewarded and find it again for good behavior? Nope.
Certainly when you consider the issue of losing things, there are varying levels of laziness, disorganization and forgetfulness, all of which I know about quite well. But even the best, most careful plans gang aft a-gley. So I don't believe that there is a reward or punishment when something is lost. It is morally neutral, which makes it, for me, even more difficult to understand. There is nothing that we can do about it. When something is gone, there is just no knowing if we will find it again. And we might not. Or we might.
4 comments:
I also hate losing things, which sounds funny considering the unmitigated disaster of a mess in which I tend to live. What gets me is the irreplaceable items, and my avoidance of such loss drives habits such as diligent tooth care (those babies don't grow back, after all).
At the same time, losing things is a central theme of Christianity. We're called to lose an awful lot in order to pursue faith. True, most of what we need to lose is actually utterly worthless (i.e. pride, sin, selfishness, etc.), but in giving those things up, God gives us better things (holiness, character, and, most of all, grace).
Though I know it might not help, maybe your cross was lost to you because God had bigger plans for it. Maybe it was never really yours; maybe God just let you keep it and love it for a while, before sending it on its way to help someone else. Maybe that someone else found your cross and then found himself asking important questions.
Just a thought.
Dave, thanks for your thoughts.
Wow, it has been a while since CHESS days. I read you Hi..atus post, so I guess we can say that we are re-aquainted. The internet is so funny.
I have thought more about losing things since this original post. It is interesting that the word applies to so many different things. I lost my keys, I lost my pen, they lost the baseball game, I'm losing my mind, she lost a loved one.
But I appreciate your last paragraph and the very hopeful turn. I guess it is a question of what God really wants us to have or not have, and I think it is about his direction and will more than a reward or punishment, and he always provides what we need. And the word cross is so very layered in your paragraph that I sincerely forgot that it just meant a necklace.
Hi Joanna,
Your post came at a significant time, thinking as I was about the loss of intangible things. For more details you can "see my published works" (as a character you enjoy more than I do said :))
I appreciated your thoughts and your writing them out.
Love,
Mom
At the risk of beating a dead horse, I have a story about finding things.
I've been missing a certain computer cable since the last time I was up in Hershey. As I'd already been informed that I'd left several other items up there (clothes, mostly. I forget stuff all the time...), I gave Mom a call, after I'd already spent a few days ransacking my house in Annapolis and turning up squat. She couldn't find it, even though I told her all the places I would have had it (and that list of places was short).
Yesterday, in a fit of frustration, I actually got down on my knees and prayed that God would help me find my cable. I was honestly hoping I'd just open my eyes and the stupid thing would be staring me in the face, but no dice. It's also worth pointing out that this cable I've been looking for is really just the sync cable for my mp3 player; it's not crucial to any of my important life activities.
Anyway, today I decided to get creative and start looking under/moving furniture. The very first place I looked turned up, instead of my $20 sync cable, my $100+ pair of eyeglasses, which I have been missing since before Christmas. I was so stunned to find them, as I had previously been convinced I had accidentally left them in a rental car (long story), that I couldn't help but call home to tell Mom. During that phone call, what does she stumble upon, but the very cable I'd been looking for for days now. As a parting shot, I told her I had also been missing my favorite Bible. She called back about half an hour later to tell me that my sister had found it in her car.
The moral of this story is, obviously, don't leave your glasses in stupid places. But only slightly less well known: nothing helps you find something like losing something else.
And sometimes, the thing you find is much more valuable than the thing you lost.
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