Lent

So it is the season of Lent now. My experience with Lent is limited to only the last three years or so. Before that I am not sure that I knew it existed. I do remember one friend from college who was catholic, and gave up eating meat. In the last couple of years, my church has adopted Lent as a season of preparation, of repentance, of mourning for Jesus's death, and as a time that we take part in his death ourselves, in order to more fully take part in his life. This makes sense to me, in the upsidedown Christian way. The problem I am having suddenly, and it isn't really exactly a problem, is that I am happy.

Several years ago, the first year I began exploring the idea of Lent, I gave up eating desserts. I did this, not for a diet or anything, but because I knew that it would be the hardest thing to do that I could possibly think of. And it was really hard. I remember going on a walk, the last week of Lent and thinking that there was no way I was going to make it for only four more days. But I did and I never looked forward to Easter, or truly celebrated when it arrived like I did that year. Though more importantly, I think, as I look back, that year I added prayer too, as a part of Lent. I bought a new prayer book and used it each morning, and then continued to use it for far far longer.

The next two years have not been even remotely as successful. I couldn't decide on what I would give up, and just felt guilty.

So this year, again, I have renewed motivation, but again, I don't know what to give up. I can give up desserts again, and it would be just as hard as the first time. But it feels a little more rote, and less meaningful, and like my heart is not quite in it. Not eating something just for the purpose of proving something, or allaying my guilt does not sound like the gospel.

So the question is, what does God want to do with me in this season of Lent, and in my life long after that? And I realized that I haven't really asked him. So I think that prayer is the thing that I need most again. I need to keep asking God to lead, and listen to his voice, and to obey him. One thing that might help me do this the new link (yay, I added one!) on the right. It puts together daily prayer and scripture from the Book of Common Prayer. I told my Episcopal friends about this, and they told me that I am cheating, because learning to actually use the Book of Common Prayer is part of the experience. But sadly, I am more internet savvy, than prayer-book savvy, so this will do for me. And maybe I will just need to set aside more time and not hit my snooze button four times before crawling out of bed. I have been thinking about actually fasting also. Maybe for a day once a week during Lent, or maybe just on Good Friday. I will be praying about adding this too. I guess the point, in the end, is obedience.

But chocolate? Yeah, I think I will eat and enjoy it this year. I feel so tremendously blessed in this season in my life. Actually, I think it is truly joy from Jesus, because I cannot explain it any other way. So when I say I am happy, I mean more than that. And I certainly don't want to be pushing Jesus out of the way so that I can have my fun, but thank him for all he has given, and not feel guilty if the party starts a little early this year.

New, must read, can't live without 'em blogs

I am linking to two brand new blogs at right. I love blogs. I think that I don't read books anymore because I read blogs. I am attempting to remedy that at the moment with Edith Wharton, but I just started it last night, so no promises. In the meantime, here is some great online reading.

The Yarn Harlot

This is new one. Just started reading it last night too, so it only goes to show my immediate enthusiasm to add it as a link within twenty four hours (poor Edith Wharton).
This woman, Stephanie Pearl-McPhee is a best selling author of books about knitting. Books about knitting you say, with eyebrows slightly raised? If you go to this blog right now and read Represent you will promptly be educated in the vast underground world of knitting. This woman gained over 500 comments from knitters all over the world, on this one post, in less than 24 hours!!! Wow, I am so proud to call myself one of them (a knitter, that is, not a commenter...yet). But she is an excellent writer, went to art school, and still hasn't decided in which direction to focus her creative energy. Sounds so very familiar. Make sure you read An Artist Needs Limits.

Jeneric Jeneralities

Jen Ig, as she is often referred to, is the spunkiest and funniest blogger I know, and she is a homeschooling mother of six children. You can read all kinds of adventures involving kids, animals, barn dances, cupcakes, organic produce, school, and God. And I so want to write like her, as if I can hear her voice from right across the messy book littered living room. There is a very large, underground movement of homeschool bloggers, as well as knitting ones, and this is one of the best. She is actually rather famous in her niche, too, as the senior editor of the homeschooling glossy, The Old Schoolhouse Magazine. I end up wandering over to her blog at work now and then, as I click through various homeschooling web sites. A very refreshing read. You'll end up knowing the whole family.

Does anyone know of other great blogs? Which ones do you read? I'd love to hear about them and get sucked in, and have to read them everyday and add more to my list of favorites.

BUT, I still can't decide what links to list... I never read Google News, so that needs to go...

That will be my next project.

Sunset from Wood Road window

Valentines for one more hour...

Yes this is late, but it is still good for one more hour... My friend Hannah wrote in response to my February post the very witty quote below,

Yeah, the only things that ever seem to make February bearable are
being fantastically busy or falling in love, and neither is
completely under human control...

I would much prefer falling in love to being fantastically busy, but she continues with this next piece of very "humanly controllable" advice for February...

Kim and Josh had me over for dinner last night, and Kim found this
fantastic cookie mix that comes in a bag. I think it's Duncan Hines
sugar cookies, if I recall rightly (turns out it's really Betty Crocker!).
They taste homemade, at least to me. I'm not an expert on sugar
cookies, but they certainly improve February.

Who is not an expert on sugar cookies? I think that since love is not a controllable option, and extreme busyness is not nearly as desirable, sugar cookies must be the answer. I wanted to make them all day today, but while being bogged down with folding laundry and scraping and scraping ice off my car, I never got to it. So tomorrow, if I can get out of my driveway and make it to work, I am going to stop at the grocery store and purchase this highly recommended sugar cookie mix. I am going to come home and bake them, and I am going to make pink icing to go on top and I have every expectation that the depths of February will be vanquished. It's just too bad that next week is the beginning of Lent...

the deep dark depths of february

Good grief, I haven't written since February began. I am blaming February. The lack of sunlight and exercise. The terrible cold. It is often the low point of the year for me. I am truly rather thankful for Valentines day because it at least brings talk of roses and flowers and I like seeing the cheery red and pink.
Today I took a day off of work for a sick day. Some stomach problems from the medication for other mildly embarrasing ailments, I think. So that is all I will say about that, but I slept all afternoon yesterday, twelve hours last night, and I finally feel better and am bored stiff, which I think is a very good sign. Going to work sounds great.
Hopefully my inspiration will return with my energy and the growing daylight, and I will have another good post up soon.
Until then...